Why Am I Too Soft for Sex?

So you’re getting it on with your partner. Things are going well. You’re rock hard. Then, suddenly you go limp. You and your partner try to coax your flaccid penis back to life, but nothing happens.

The night goes downhill from there.

You’re worried you’re now suffering from the dreaded ED word.

In this blog post, we’ll dive into the reasons why you weren’t able to perform during sex. Was it erectile dysfunction? Or something more temporary? And what can you do about the problem?

Occasional Erectile Dysfunction

Many men have occasional erection problems during intercourse. If erections that are too soft happen to you from time to time, don’t panic. Here are some possible temporary reasons why you can’t stay hard during sex with your partner:

• Being too tired after a stressful day at work.

• Suffering from a temporary health problem.

• Stress over financial issues and other problems can make you go soft during sex.

• Drinking alcohol or doing drugs can also cause short-term ED.

• Watching too much porn.

Other things that can cause you to go soft during sex include performance anxiety. Performance anxiety is common in guys who experience even one episode of being too soft in bed to have strong erections. Performance anxiety is when you worry that if you couldn’t do it with your partner the last time you tried, why would this time be different? Most of the time, this anxiety is unjustified and only makes matters worse and affects your self confidence.

Stay focused on the possible temporary reasons why your sexual performance didn’t live up to your expectations instead of assuming that poor sex is your new reality. It’s important to rule out temporary reasons rather than giving in to the fear that your ED will last forever.

Is My Erectile Dysfunction Going to Last Forever?

If having a soft erection is more than just occasional, you might be looking at outright ED. There are ways to get rid of ED, and we’ll get to those in a minute. First, here are some of the causes of long-lasting erection problems:

• Certain medications, like beta-blockers for high blood pressure, may cause ED in some men, if you continue to take them without switching to another type of drug.

• Aging, although it can happen in young men, too.

• Diabetes

• Low blood flow

• Nerve damage

• Peyronie’s disease

• Multiple sclerosis

• Parkinson’s disease

• Smoking, lack of exercise, and poor diet

• Ongoing stress, which can damage your blood vessels and get in the way of better sex.

Treatment Options for ED

If you find that you’re getting too soft during sex more and more often and your flaccid penis is getting in the way of good sex with your partner, it’s best to get checked out by your doctor. They can diagnose any underlying conditions and work on resolving those problems, which will improve your erectile function and make you less worried about whether you can satisfy your partner and have an orgasm once again.

Addressing Lifestyle Factors

Taking care of your physical health can improve your sex life. Here are some of the ways you can take charge of your sexual health.

Get Moving

Lifestyle changes can go a long way in getting rid of your sexual dysfunction. Increasing exercise also can go a long way in supporting healthy blood flow and improving your sexual health.

A review of 10 studies looked at the ideal amount of exercise needed to boost sexual endurance. Scientists reviewing the studies found that 40 minutes of aerobic exercise of moderate-to-vigorous intensity at least four times per week over six months resulted in a reduced risk of sexual decline in men whose sexual dysfunction was caused by lack of physical activity, obesity, high blood pressure, metabolic syndrome, and/or heart disease.(1)

You and your partner can even make exercise part of your date night, by taking a hike together, snowshoeing or cross-country skiing, or even going to the gym together.

Avoid Alcohol and Smoking

Quitting smoking is an important treatment option for ED. Drinking alcohol may also affect your sexual health. Although light alcohol consumption may not affect sexual performance, drinking excessive alcohol may lead to sexual dysfunction and reduce sexual activity. Cutting back on alcohol can boost performance.

Eat Healthy

Eating a healthier diet is another strategy for improving sexual performance. Researchers have found that a Mediterranean diet can reduce the risk of ED.(2) People on a Mediterranean diet eat fish, poultry, nuts, vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and a moderate amount of cheese and yogurt and avoid desserts, sugary drinks, and butter.

Treating Underlying Conditions

The lifestyle choices mentioned earlier in this article will reduce the risk of conditions linked to erectile dysfunction such as cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes. All of these conditions affect men by interfering with the health of blood vessels and reducing performance. It’s important to work with your doctor to rule out a physical problem that could be causing symptoms of erectile dysfunction and to find the best treatment options if you have any of these conditions.

Medications

The little blue pill and other ED drugs are one of the most popular ways to help men who go soft during sex. The problem is that their effects may wear off over time. They also have side effects like headaches, vision changes, upset stomach, facial flushing, nasal congestion, dizziness, as well as more serious adverse reactions such as hearing or vision loss and priapism (an erection that lasts for more than four hours).

Penis Pumps

These devices use a plastic tube that fits over the penis and a manual or battery-powered pump connected to the tube. The pump creates a vacuum that allows more blood flow into the penis.

Many men with erectile dysfunction use penis pumps as a way to support a healthy sex life. Sometimes, they’re used together with a constriction ring, otherwise known as a cock ring, which is placed around the base of the erect penis to help sustain an erection.

Penile pumps can be effective in reducing erectile dysfunction. They’re especially effective when used together with acoustic soundwave therapy.

Acoustic Soundwave Therapy

Doctors use acoustic soundwave therapy, also called low-intensity extracorporeal shockwave therapy (Li-ESWT), to enhance sexual function in men with ED. Li-ESWT sends targeted shockwaves into penis tissue.

Li-ESWT treatment requires a number of sessions, so it will run you thousands of dollars to get the full benefit. An alternative is to use an at-home Li-ESWT device for a fraction of the cost.

Frequently Asked Questions About Having a Limp Penis During Sex

Why is my erection too soft?

There are many reasons why your penis may not get or stay hard during sex with your partner. Ongoing stress related to your work or personal life is one of the most common erection killers. Other factors to blame for an occasional soft erection include performance anxiety, drinking too much alcohol, watching too much porn, and being too tired to perform at your best.

Is my erectile dysfunction permanent?

Although it is possible that your flaccid penis during sex is just a temporary problem, you can suspect permanent ED if you're frequently too soft to cross the finish line. If this is the case, it's time for a visit with your doctor who can diagnose the problem, rule out or treat underlying health conditions like diabetes or cardiovascular disease, and suggest treatments for ED.

What are the best treatments for erectile dysfunction?

Sometimes, the simple solution is to improve your diet and get more exercise. More often, however, you’ll need to work with your doctor to find the most effective solution and treat symptoms of ED. This can include taking ED drugs, using a penis pump, treating underlying conditions, or using acoustic soundwave therapy, either in a clinic or at home.

Sources:

1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5960035/

2. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20487239/