What Is Outercourse and Is It the Solution for ED?

Outercourse is a way to have sex without technically having sex—at least not penetrative sex. It usually refers to any sexual activity that’s not sexual intercourse, but different people have different ideas of what activities are considered outercourse.  

In this blog post, we’ll take a deep dive into what is outercourse and whether it’s an effective way to cope with your erectile dysfunction. 

Sexual Acts Included in Outercourse

Most people consider outercourse to be any sexual act that doesn’t include penile vaginal penetration. For others, it includes only activities that involve no penetration at all. Here is an outercourse sexual activity overview:

• Kissing

• Cuddling 

• Hugging

• Mutual masturbation

• Using sex toys

• Oral sex

• Anal sex

• Manual stimulation

• Dry humping against your partner’s genitals with your clothes on

Kissing, Cuddling, Hugging

These activities may seem more affectionate than sexual, but they can always lead up to something more. Kissing can be erotic, and you don’t have to stick to the mouth alone. Try kissing you partner’s erogenous zones. 

Mutual Masturbation

Masturbation doesn’t have to be a lonely activity. If you do it together with your partner, each of you can watch while you show each other how you like to be touched. This activity takes away the pressure you might feel over activities that involve penetration.   

Using Sex Toys

From a non-penetrative standpoint, male vibrators can stimulate the head of the penis. The intense feeling they produce might even get you hard enough for penetrative sex. Plenty of other sex toys are available, so experiment with them and see which ones you and your partner like best. 

Oral or Anal Sex

We don’t have to tell you that oral sex is a great alternative to intercourse, although if you have ED you may need to wait on this until your treatment is starting to work and your sexual health improves. Otherwise, you might not be able to get hard during blow jobs.

Ditto for anal sex. Not everyone considers anal penetration as outercourse. However, many people define outercourse as any sexual act besides vaginal penetration, so for them anal anal penetration falls under the outercourse umbrella.  

Sensual Massage

Having your partner rub you down can feel both relaxing and sexy. If your ED is temporary and caused by stress alone, massage can help put you into the right frame of mind. It may lead to something more or it may not, but either way you’ll have fun.

Dry Humping

This one might take you back to your teenage years. It’s fun for adults, too, if you’re unable to have intercourse or are trying to avoid it. It’s another one of those outercourse activities that could turn you on so much that it  leads to intercourse. 

Using Your Hands

Manual stimulation falls under the category of outercourse under many people’s definition. It’s a non-penetrative sexual activity where you bring each other to orgasm using your hands. If penetrative intercourse gives you performance anxiety, this type of outercourse may help you relax and feel less pressure. 

Again, different people have variable definitions of outercourse. For example, some people practicing outercourse consider anal sex to be off limits since they consider it a form of penetrative sex. 

Abstinence and Outercourse: Are They The Same?

Abstinence often refers to avoiding all forms of sexual activity, including outercourse. But it depends how you define abstinence. Some people consider abstinence the avoidance of only penetrative intercourse, so under that definition some forms of outercourse are okay for someone practicing abstinence. 

Who Practices Outercourse?

Some people practice outercourse as a way to abstain from penetrative sex. These are usually people who want to prevent pregnancy or they may not be ready to have sex yet with a new lover or have religious or cultural beliefs about having sex before marriage. 

Some guys with ED also practice non-penetrative sexual activities, especially if they’ve given up hope that they’ll have an erection again or during those times when they’re too soft to be able to please their partner by having intercourse. 

Can Outercourse Protect Against Sexually Transmitted Infections?

Outercourse does not offer complete protection against STI transmission because it can include genital contact and exchange of sexual fluids. Skin-to-skin contact can lead to sexually transmitted infections like herpes, human papillomavirus, syphilis, and molluscum contagiosum. 

Anal sex, oral sex, and sharing sex toys also can lead to STI transmission. 

Is There a Risk of Pregnancy?

Non-penetrative sex also is not a surefire way to avoid pregnancy. Although the risk of pregnancy is low, if semen were to drip into the vagina or if you touch your partner’s vagina after also touching semen, your partner could become pregnant. There is a lower risk compared to if you engaged in sexual acts that involve penile vaginal penetration.  

How Outercourse Can Help with ED

If you have erectile dysfunction, penetrative sex can be intimidating. You never really know if you’re going to be able to complete the act. That’s where outercourse comes into play. It takes the pressure off you to achieve an erection and reduces the risk of performance anxiety, which can sometimes make ED worse. 

Outercourse in men with ED allows for sexual intimacy and pleasure without worrying about whether you can achieve penetration during vaginal sex or anal sex.

Instead, couples engaging in outercourse focus on other activities that build intimacy such as foreplay, kissing, cuddling, hugging, and sensual massage, or performing oral sex on your partner, which can help them reach orgasm. 

Outercourse also allows you to give your partner sexual pleasure even when you are unable to get hard enough to have penetrative intercourse.

Using Outercourse with ED Treatments

If you’re looking for a permanent solution to ED, outercourse is not it. But it’s a great option as you’re working on getting your sexual health back—for example, while you just started using acoustic soundwave therapy and are waiting for the results to kick in. 

You can use outercourse while you’re trying solutions for ED, such as:

• Penis pumps

• Low-intensity extracorporeal shockwave therapy (Li-ESWT or acoustic soundwave therapy)

• Lifestyle modifications (diet, exercise, stress reduction) Couples who practice outercourse say that it improves their sexual relationship, so it can be a great foundation to build on for when you do get your strong erections back. 

Outercourse can help you figure out what gives your partner sexual pleasure, so that when you go back to engaging in sexual activities that involve penetration you can incorporate your favorite outercourse activities into foreplay. 

Frequently Asked Questions About Outercourse

What Is Outercourse?

The definition of outercourse can vary from person to person. For many people, outercourse is non-penetrative sex. For others, it means any sexual activity that doesn’t include penis in vagina sex. Depending on your definition, outercourse activities can include:

• Kissing

• Cuddling 

• Hugging

• Mutual masturbation

• Using sex toys

• Oral sex

• Anal sex

• Using your hands on each other

• Dry humping against your partner’s genitals with your clothes on

Can Outercourse Help with ED?

If you have erectile dysfunction, penetrative sex can be intimidating. You never really know if you’re going to be able to complete the act. That’s where outercourse comes into play. It takes the pressure off you to achieve an erection and reduces the risk of performance anxiety, which can sometimes make ED worse. 

Outercourse is not a solution for ED. But it’s a great option as you’re working on getting your sexual health back. You can use outercourse while you’re trying solutions for ED such as acoustic soundwave therapy or penis pumps.  

What are the disadvantages of outercourse?

Outercourse may have a place in your sex life, but there are some disadvantages. If you have ED and are using outercourse as a way to avoid intercourse because you’ve given up hope, then you’re just hiding behind outercourse. It’s best to use it combined with ED treatments as your sexual health starts to improve.

If you’re using outercourse to avoid pregnacy or the risk of sexually transmitted infections, remember that outercourse is not a foolproof method to avoid either of these things. Although the risk of pregnancy is low, if semen were to drip into the vagina or if you touch your partner’s vagina after also touching semen, your partner could become pregnant. 

Likewise, outercourse does not offer complete protection against STIs because it can include genital contact, skin-to-skin contact, and exchange of bodily fluids.