How Long Should a Man Last in Bed?

Did you ever wonder if how long you last compares favorably to other guys? Are you worried that intercourse is taking too long and your partner is getting frustrated? Or are you faster than the average? 

The answer to that question can depend upon what you mean by “last in bed”: 

• Do you mean how long it takes you to climax after you get hard? 

• Or do you mean how much sexual stamina you have in order to keep up with your partner? Or even how long it takes you to get hard in the first place and then cross the finish line during penetrative sex? 

• Maybe you’re even trying to figure out if you have premature ejaculation, when you ejaculate too soon during intercourse. 

Lasting in bed can mean different things to different men. In this blog post, we’ll dive deeper into each of these different meanings and find out what scientists have to say about the matter. 

We’ll also recommend some strategies for prolonging your sexual encounters if you reach orgasm too quickly or shorten them if you feel like you’re taking too long. 

Remember, a better sex life is all about giving each other pleasure rather than running a race to the finish line. If you focus too much on how you’re comparing to other men, you could give yourself a case of performance anxiety.

What Science Says About How Long Sex Should Last

When scientists study how long sex should last, they’re usually talking about the time from penetration to ejaculation, what they call the intravaginal ejaculation latency time (IELT). That simply means how long does it take for a man to ejaculate once he enters a woman. 

A 2005 study used this measurement in 500 heterosexual couples from five countries: the Netherlands, Spain, Britain, Turkey, and the United States.(1) The study authors gave the male members of the couples a stopwatch and told them to measure the time between penetration and ejaculation. The researchers then averaged the times for each couple over the times the couples had sex. 

The shortest time? 55 seconds. The longest time lasted 44.1 minutes. The average IELT was 5.4 minutes. This large variation in times shows there’s no normal duration for sex to last.

What Sex Therapists Say About How Long Sex Should Last

Scientists at Pennsylvania State University asked 50 sex therapists from the Society for Sex Therapy and Research about the average timeframe for intercourse. The scientists asked the therapists to rate different timeframes for sex as adequate, desirable, too short, or too long.(2) The scientists instructed the experts that sex referred to the time from penetration to ejaculation (IELT).

• The experts considered an adequate length of time to be three to seven minutes.

• The desirable timeframe was seven to 13 minutes.

• One to two minutes was too short. 

• Most of the experts considered 13 to 30 minutes too long. 

Does Your Sexual Performance Live Up To Other Men Your Age?

For you, lasting longer might mean more stamina. In other words, how long can you keep sexual intercourse going throughout the night? Is one time your limit or are you able to go a second and third round? 

Or maybe you’re struggling even doing it once, especially if you’re worn out from a tough day at work or a heavy exercise workout. How much sexual stamina you have is likely going to depend partly on your age. 

If Sex Is Taking Too Long

As you get older, it’s more likely that sex might take longer than it did when you were younger. Those all-night love-making sessions are a thing of the past, and it might be harder for you to get and keep erections. 

ED medications or injections are two common solutions for age-related sexual decline. However, these medications have side effects and may stop working over time in some men. Injections are painful and interrupt those romantic moments. 

As an alternative, Dr. Paul Thompson, M.D., a urologist in practice for more than 30 years, recommends acoustic soundwave therapy. This form of therapy can be done in clinical practice, but it’s expensive and isn’t practical for a lot of guys. 

“I often recommend an at-home version of acoustic soundwave therapy that’s just as effective as the in-clinic version, only at a fraction of the cost,” Dr. Thompson says. “My patients have a lot of success with this form of therapy. Some of them even report enjoying morning wood again after using the at-home device.”

How to Last Longer in Bed

Some men have the opposite problem and suffer from premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation is a type of sexual dysfunction that occurs when you don’t last long enough—specifically, you ejaculate much faster than you or your partner want during sex. It’s the most common ejaculation disorder.(3)

Ejaculating too soon usually means within one to three minutes of penetration, but some men with this problem might even ejaculate before penetration.  

Premature ejaculation has happened to most men from time to time. The problem becomes when it happens every time or nearly every time. It’s a good idea to talk with your doctor about your experience to find out if it’s normal.     

Premature Ejaculation—Ways to Slow Things Down

If you climax too soon, there are ways to help you keep going and improve your sex life. Here are some techniques you can use:

Kegel Exercises

Pelvic floor exercises, otherwise known as Kegel exercises, can strengthen the muscles that are involved in ejaculation. Strengthening these muscles can give you more control and stop you from coming too quickly.

To do Kegel exercises, identify the muscles involved by stopping your urine mid-stream. Squeeze these same muscles throughout the day for five to ten seconds. Release and repeat ten to 15 times daily. You can do this while sitting at your desk, watching TV, or standing in line at a store.

Stop-Start Method

The goal here is to get as close as possible to reaching orgasm without actually reaching orgasm. At least, not yet. Once you’re close, have your partner stop any sexual stimulation while you focus for a while on satisfying your partner. After a break, they can go back to satisfying you.

This technique slows things down so that you delay ejaculation and helps you practice getting close without actually ejaculating.  

The Squeeze Technique

Here’s how the squeeze technique works: When you feel the start of an orgasm, stop and squeeze your penis just below the head. Put pressure on the urethra, which runs along the penis underside. Doing this reduces the intensity of the erection.   

Masturbate Before Sex

If you haven’t had sex in a while, your body might be overeager to have an orgasm and you might climax faster than you’d like. 

One way to avoid premature ejaculation is to masturbate before sex. After masturbation, your body is in a recovery phase. Having sex just long enough after masturbation can slow sex down and delay ejaculation. 

Acoustic Shockwave Therapy and Premature Ejaculation 

One of the best treatment options for premature ejaculation is acoustic shockwave therapy, otherwise known as low-intensity extracorporeal soundwave therapy (Li-ESWT). 

“Just like this type of therapy benefits men who are too soft for sex, it also is useful for men who climax too quickly,” says Dr. Thompson. “It helps you get and stay hard, so it’s more likely you won’t reach orgasm too soon.”

Acoustic soundwave therapy is available at some doctor’s clinics, but you can also use a device in the privacy of your home. The at-home version is available for a fraction of the cost of in-clinic treatment. 

Frequently Asked Questions About How to Keep Going in Bed

What Is the Average Time a Man Lasts in Bed?

Researchers studying the average time a man lasts from penetration to ejaculation found a large variation in times. The shortest time? 55 seconds. The longest time lasted 44.1 minutes. The average was 5.4 minutes. 

Generally, experts consider three to seven minutes adequate, seven to 13 minutes desirable, and one to two minutes too short.

How Can I Last Longer in Bed?

If you have premature ejaculation, you’re going to want to put on the brakes so that you don’t reach orgasm too soon. Kegel exercises, the stop-start technique, the squeeze technique, masturbating before sex, and acoustic soundwave therapy are all treatment options to stop you from ejaculating too soon. 

What If I’m Taking Too Long to Climax?

If you have erectile dysfunction or are just getting softer with age, you might be wondering how to shorten your sexual activity without making your partner wait forever for you to climax. You can turn to ED medications or injections, but these have side effects, often stop working over time, or, in the case of injections, are just downright painful and inconvenient. 

As an alternative, urologists often recommend acoustic soundwave therapy as a better solution. You can have this done in clinic, but an at-home acoustic soundwave therapy device is equally effective and is available for a fraction of the cost of in-clinic treatments.

Sources:

1. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16422843/

2. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18331255/

3. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/premature-ejaculation/symptoms-causes/syc-20354900